Matt Bellamy

Things that worked how for a split second, when you pulled the trigger, i was the killer, and you were the victim Things that didn't work Starting it with makes ...

Very cute. One line- "about her;" doesn't really fit, it just seems a bit short and doesn't flow as well as the rest of the poem. The rhyming was a ...

Ditto everyone else, especially the lacing up thing. Also the line in capitals didn't work for me. You want emphasis, maybe try italics. Or just one word in italics- What ...

Things that worked At you, as in charging As in merging in the margins -I've said that over and over in my head, I love the way it sounds. Similarly, ...

Things that worked I’ve become another cardboard cutout An example to display in an art class (It's good because...well, good imagery I guess, great idea.) While trying to buy us ...

Interesting idea, I like it. However a couple of lines didn't seem to make sense, for the sake of rhyming. And "This is the poem's first line," was actually the ...

You switched between past and present tense-"Then the phone rang, just as I thought of you/I'm told you have died, there was nothing they could do". The rhyming was forced ...

Ditto Snip Snip, although Yoda is truly awesome. It seemed as if you structured lines this way just for the sake of rhyming. The rhyming scheme, is interesting though, it's ...

I'm not usually much of a fan of rhyming poetry but you carried this off really well. I think the rhythm was great, especially in the second stanza. The rhyming ...

This seems a little...sloppy. There's no structure, which is fine, as it's free verse, anything goes. It just didn't sound like it flowed in my head. However. The first line ...

Mirror: Some lines are a little longer, some are shorter, so I feel this doesn't flow very well. You say "Her imperfections linger/Before her drop-dead gorgeous frown." So even her ...

I'm picking up on things here that you may or may not have intentionally touched on. Fore example: "Where snow always fell". It always fell, did it? Was the boy ...

Well it's catchy. At the moment it seems little more than an outlet of angst, which I don't begrudge you, I do it often. But if you want to improve ...

Ooh, I like. You touch on a feeling of unity, and I think you could develop that more-is this a romantic unity? Or am I just in a romantic mood? ...

This left me confused. I didn't find it particularly easy to read, and got confused as to whether you want to talk or you want answers. Or do you want ...